Saturday, December 14, 2013

Yesterday

So things since October have been difficult for my oldest child. If you watch my vlog then you already know a little. Yesterday he had another bad day. In the morning he had a large mark on his neck. He told me he was messing around with the blinds and got the blind chord wrapped around his neck. Effectively leaving a large rope burn mark on the side of his neck. This scared the hell out of me. He said he had a headache so I gave him one regular strength tylenol (he is big enough for one.) While I was changing the baby, he broke the pill up and shoved it up his nose. I did not see him do this. Husband took him to school and did not notice anything different about him.

I get a call an hour later that Eric has a bloody nose. I rush down to the school and he does not. He appears fine. I talk to him and his special ed teacher and she says he can go back to class. I agree because he seems fine. As I drive home I start to freak out. I cry. I get home and don't know what to do. My husband never answers calls/texts/IMs when he is at work. I message him anyway. I ask Eric's bio dad to call me. He says he gets off in an hour.

So I post "Why me?" on face.book. Probably....no, definitely, a mistake. Never post about feelings on face.book. Ever. Anyway, as I share what happened I get bombarded with A LOT of advice. People start messaging me. I was probably given at least 20 numbers to call. Told I need to take him to the E.R. right away. I called Eric's psychiatrist and counselor and left messages. And as I waited for them to return my calls I was continually bombarded with "advice."

Then it really started to piss me off. None of these people know 100% of the story. None of them are doctors or trained professionals. What the fuck gives any of them the right to think THEY know better then ME or his DOCTOR? Guess what? THEY FUCKING DON'T!

With all things parenting - you have to just accept peoples advice and use what you  really need. I really did feel bullied yesterday. And hurt. A few people who I thought were my best friends acted like I was a terrible mom if I didn't rush my kid off to the E.R. I took him to the E.R. the last time he was suicidal. He was literally telling me he wished his life would end, trying to jump out of his bedroom window. They sat us in a room for four hours and in the end only called his counselor. They also charged me $700 for it. Guess what? I can call his doctors and counselors FOR FREE.

The thing that really bothers me is that some of the people giving me advice - are complete hypocrites. A lot of the things they were telling me I need to be doing they never do themselves.

Eric's psychiatrist and counselor did call me back. He has appointments on Monday and Thursday. I am watching him closely. He will not be left unsupervised at all. He is safe. That is all that matters. If "friends" can't accept that I am doing what is best for him they can fuck off.

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