Thursday, October 13, 2011


I pull up to one of my favorite places--the craft store. Then I look up and see a few older women walking in with younger women that appear to be their daughters.

I will never have that with my own mother. My own mother who rarely calls and cannot afford to visit her grandchildren.

But I look forward to the day I have that with my daughter.

Then we walk into the store and both my younger children have stupid tantrums. And I wonder why I leave the house. Why? Oh, because I am an idiot, that is why.

I drive home crying. Because no one who I know is home will answer the phone. Because sometimes I feel like a shitty mom. Because I miss my mom every day. I wonder why?

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