Thursday, September 15, 2011

A person who I thought was a good friend of mine told me I was worthless today. He is not my friend. He told me to stop calling what I do a job. How is what I do NOT a job? I understand I had these children and it is just my life to care for them. If it is my purpose in life, it is a job. I clean children, make beds, make appointments, pay bills. Sure, I do not bring in any income for those bills. It has been years since my husband has written a check for one of our bills. In fact, he will leave bills on my desk just for me to take care of it. I take the kids to their many appointments. I make sure they have shoes and clothing. We work together to raise our family. I do often complain and wish we would help out more. But our family would not be what it is without EITHER of us. Husbandface and I are equally important to each other. Equally important to our children.

I left for a week to go visit my sick mother. I came home to mountains of laundry and days worth of dishes. I tried to bite my tongue and just keep on keepin' on. Yes, I am blessed. I have a great house and family and life.

But I am NOT worthless.

As someone who grew up with absent parents, I know how important being a present mother is. And I am here for my kids every day. I take time everyday to talk to my Eric. To see how he is doing. I read to my Lily and play with my Gamma. All things children their age truly need. I make sure I hug each one of them several times every day. I don't really worry about making sure they are perfect all day every day. My kids are often filthy and dressed silly. They are loved and taken well care of.

And if that is worthless to you, then I do not want to know you. You have no idea what is truly important in life.


Brandy said...

Just...ugh. It takes SO much courage to stay home with kiddos and to say "Yes, this is my JOB, it is WORK!" It's obviously where your heart is, that you love your kids and that this person, this NON-friend, is a moron. Perhaps he needs to spend a day in your shoes. I often think men don't realize the work involved to take care of kids. My husband complained about having to make ONE phone call to take care of something in the household. I asked him if he had any idea how many calls and emails I had to make from work to schedule doc, dentist, get this insurance thing fixed, etc. Not to mention actually TAKING the kids, picking up prescriptions, etc. That's not work? Then what exactly is it?

Valeta said...

It is work!

Howard said...

Valeta, I have been content to just be an observer through this window into your life for a while now. I never really thought that I would make comment to you (although, I have wanted too on numerous occasions) Here it is. I would find it hard to believe that this person understands what it means to be a parent. They may have children Hell that's the easy part WAY TOO EASY! Part of the reason I like to peak into your world is because of your JOB! I see the sacrifices that you make every day. Some days you pay for it with your tears, hair, blood and SANITY. However, it's through those days that you earn your pay its in the smiles and love your family gets to enjoy. Parenting is the hardest job in the world and sooo few ever get it right. From the view out here I believe you are doing a better job than most. I will take this chance to leave you with this thought. While your "friends" words upset you they are most likely just ignorant to this and its relevance. Only you can decide if they are worthy of your friendship or not. I was a single parent for a long time and had a roommate. He was always talking how he would never let his kids do this or do that and had pretty much no tolerance for them. Until...He had a child of his own.....He then made a point to tell me he had his head up his A$$ all that time......Keep living.

Valeta said...

Thank you so much, Howard. Your comment means so much to me.