Sunday, August 21, 2011

I've said some horrible things about my mother here. All of them were true, but that doesn't make them any less horrible.

Now that I'm older and she is getting so sick. I don't like to dwell on the bad anymore. I should never have done so in the first place. Tears come to my eyes whenever I think of her now.

She is my mother.

I would not be here, if it wasn't for her. I am who I am partially because of her. So many decisions that she has made, I will never agree with. But I love her, still.

If she were to die tomorrow, I would hate the world to think only of the very worst of her. She has so much good in her too.

She taught me to be my own person. She wouldn't pierce my ears as an infant because it was not her body to pierce. I chose to do the same with my daughter. She taught me to be independent.

She taught me to dance. To dance silly.

And she NEVER cares what other people think. I am never so brave. I have too much anxiety.

When I was a child, she was the tallest, most beautiful, smartest lady in the world. And all I wanted was more time with her. Here is am 27 years old, and still all I want is a little more time with her.


Jerica said...

Awww sis, this post made me cry. *HUGS*!!! I hope everything goes ok with your mom and I'm so glad you can go be with her.

Anaheim Pepper said...

You have a beautiful heart, Valeta. something I've missed on the few occasions we've met. Forgive me. I need to get to know you better.