Friday, July 15, 2011

I thought it would be different if we moved away from California. But it is not. I am still stuck in the same routine. Alone with small children almost every day. No one to talk to. My neighbors either work full time or are not the "hanging out" kind of people.

I've made some truly wonderful friends here. And I still have some in Arizona and California. Hell, I've made friends from all over the U.S.

Honestly, I am just sick of myself complaining about the loneliness. I woke up this morning, happy because I am having lunch with a friend.

People have said to me, "If I lived in your house, I'd never be unhappy." "If my Husband made as much as yours does, I'd be happy." I just don't think thats true. Money/a big house does not buy happiness. What does? Friendship. Money can't buy true friendship. Money can't buy true laughter.

I never get friends dropping by on a whim. I am never the first person anyone calls to chat. Everyone else has a best friend, except me. My best friend is in Arizona and I miss her so. Am I being super selfish and needy wanting to be wanted by friends?

I have my little best friends. My children. And I love them to bits. I've realized, that is just going to have to be enough. I'm afraid of the day when my children will not want to hang out with me anymore. When they have friends of their own.

3 comments:

Jakeness said...

True friends really are rare. I moved to Colorado over a year ago and am still looking. And don't get down about the day your kids are going to choose their friends over you. By then life will certainly have thrown you someone. Happiness is created by you. So smile. :)

RunninFool said...

If we still lived near each other, I'd drop by all the time. You'd be annoyed by me. :-) Miss your face!

Mrs. Parker said...

Sending you hugs!!! I wish we had an opportunity to hang out more.