Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Dear Gamma,

On this day a year ago you were expelled from my uterus. I say expelled because unlike your two siblings, there was no counting to push. There was no push only during contractions. The nurse and midwife pressed down on my belly and made me push you out as fast as I could. You tried to come out with your arm next to your head. The chord was wrapped around your neck. You were the first baby I got to see the second you were born. I pushed you out in 4 contractions and you were placed on my belly. You were gooey and purple and not crying. But you were beautiful. You had gigantic lips and huge eyes.

One second you were on my belly looking at me and the next about a million people were in our room at the hospital. Doctors and nurses for the NICU came in to make you breathe. And it took a few minutes and I heard the most precious sound a mother can hear directly after birth. I heard my third baby's first cry. It wasn't loud and angry like your sibling's first cries. At first it was soft and sad.

The first night of your life you made up for it by not letting me sleep and screaming and yelling for boob every 30 minutes. And as exhausted and miserable as I was, I know, I would do it all over again just for you. My Gamma.

Your first year of life has been full of changes. We moved to Washington. We got a dog. We gave it away. We bought our home. But through all the changes we have had each other. And the tiny angry newborn you once were has become a giggly, loud toddler. Unlike your sister, here it is your first birthday and you still want to nurse at least 5 times a day. You are a boobie man. When you started biting my breasts I thought I would wean you. But you haven't bit me in days. I look down at you nursing and I realize I'm not ready to take this away from us. Life is so busy and in the blink of an eye you'll be a man. So, for now at least, I want to continue nursing. I love our cuddles. Its the only time you slow down.

When you were still in my belly, we had a hard time picking out a name just for you. We have a super boring last name. We didn't want a boring first name. But nothing too complicated either. Your dad jokingly suggested Gamma one day because you are our third child and gamma is third letter of the Greek alphabet. Your dad and I also really like Greek names. And I loved Gamma. It was simple to spell and say. And you came out and it was you. You are Gamma.

I hope we have a wonderful second year of Gamma just as we had a wonderful first year of Gamma.

Happy Birthday, Bubbercakes.



Mitzi said...

Oh V, that was so beautiful to read! I am glad you shared it with us. I am so happy you could take time to put your precious memories down to remember them always. You are a good mommy & a talented one too! I am grateful we met! Keep up the good work. ::: hugs :::


Valeta said...

Awww. Thanks.

Andrea said...