The best idea in the world: start small.
When I took Eric to the specialist on Monday, one of the things she told me was to "start small." Make small goals Eric WILL be able to accomplish. And reward him for it. I had never thought about it before, but the goals we had been setting for him were way too big. example: Follow your teacher's directions at school all week. It never happened. We were setting ourselves up for failure and negativity at the end of the week. Every week.
So this week we started small. And not only is Eric working on this goal. We have Lily doing it also. This week's goal was to stay seated during dinner. Lily likes to climb on the table to grab other people's food. Eric gets distracted by EVERYTHING and gets out of his chair over and over and over. It is so annoying when we are all trying to have a nice dinner.
So when dinner is ready every night we tell the kids "Remember our goal. Stay seated until dinner is over." If they accomplish the goal they get a sticker on the calendar. So far Eric has two stickers. He has to earn three in order to get to go on an outing alone with me. Tonight is his last try to get to earn that. Eric is so easily distracted that even though we talk about our goal RIGHT before dinner he still got up and did something else during dinner on two nights this week. But, he did stay seated for two nights. And earned stickers. I do not expect him to be perfect. I expect him to try. And he is. And it seems to be working.