Three weeks ago I found myself sitting in the shower hugging my knees and not wanting to face the day. I didn't want to get out. Because once I got out there was hours of screaming, poop, frustration and loneliness. Husband told me I should do something about it. So I did. I called a maternal outreach program.
I saw several therapists, a psychiatrist and a nurse. They were all wonderful. I joined a support group for the past two weeks. I have gone back on my medication.
I am doing SO MUCH BETTER now. The first couple months after Gamma's birth were a blur. I thought I was fine. But it turns out I was so not fine. And I got help, again.
This time I am taking precautions to make sure I do not relapse back into the dark scary place.