I was put in the hospital last week. I was told to see a therapist. I went to my therapy appointment and my therapist wasn't around 20 minutes after my scheduled appointment. So I came home to my kids.
My original due date was February 5th. I honestly thought I'd have a baby that week. They measured him by ultrasound very early on and changed my due date to the 17th.
Last night at one point when I laid in bed yelling out in pain husband came upstairs and asked me if I was being murdered by monsters. No, just the "monster" he put inside me.
I just want to know, what the fuck did I do in my life to deserve all of this? Why does life hate me?
My mom has been here since Friday but is leaving tomorrow. She has been super helpful this time around. I begged her to stay another week and she wont. Just like my whole life, she only half cares.
If only I wasn't too scared to try castor oil. Which my midwife said I could if I wanted.